August Serenade

It’s going to be 5^th August soon. Wonder if this year it’s going to be something to be remembered or it will passes on like the other 5^th August. My memory from childhood had been mild; there’s nothing I could really clearly remember. The only 5^th August I remember is from year 2000. I was 10 and I had this little party with two of my closest friends. I remembered we had noodle which Mum cooked for the day. I had a little fun I guess. No cakes though. We played in the playground and it was quite brief. Nevertheless, it was probably the best birthday ever. Since then on, I don’t remember any other celebrations. It is quite sad for me actually especially when while the other members of the family got a little eat out on their birthdays, mine was always forgotten. More important things would just pop out; road tax to be renewed, and last year I was going to college after 3 days, etc. etc. Mostly my 5^th August would be really unpleasant, getting into argument with my mum, and I still remember some of the 5^th August I would say “Happy Birthday Me” in tears of sadness, under the blanket. Wishes from your friends doesn’t really count that much since maybe they got all their friends’ birthdays on Facebook notifications anyways.

This year I want to get all out and just celebrate my birthday with myself. I want to buy a cheese cake and eat it all by myself. I want to buy some new clothes and books! And a pair of boots! and maybe a Les Paul! I’m tired of straining myself and putting others in front of me. I want to walk without worrying about others. I want to be selfish. I want to be free. And maybe I want to have such birthdays for 3, 4 or 5 years to come. I just want to be alone. If bonding is something that would hurt as deep as the bond, then I would rather spend my life on my own. I’ll be happy in my own way.

Then again, every day I listen to Suga Shikao’s August Serenade. I hope my August will be august this year.

Chiisana Jinsei: Japanese Songs Chord

Chiisana Jinsei: Japanese Songs Chord: "I found these sites with chords on Japanese song. Of course, the site is in Japanese but if you use Google Chrome, it won't be much of a tro..."

Japanese Songs Chord

I found these sites with chords on Japanese song. Of course, the site is in Japanese but if you use Google Chrome, it won't be much of a trouble.

xxxsound

Guitarlist.net

Japan Total Music

Feel free to ask me questions! =)

Please Stop The Time For Me

Anyone? I'm being left behind.

Could you please bring me back to the time I've lost?

Stupid illness! Stupid internet!

Why do I have to get sick now? Now everything taste like crap!! T^T And why is the net here when I have lotsa things to read? Go away I need to study if you're around I won't be able to resist myself for getting online!!!

I'm sick.

Sometimes I got the feelings that I am sick in the head... Very ill! XDD

Oh well, everyone got that mental side. I'm a human too i guess.. lol

How are you doing?

I found the book I've been looking for. The Neverending Story. I'm reading it little by little.. Saving it up for the holiday. But then I realized I still have The Hobbits & Brisingr to read! Ah well, might as well read them all up or save them for the boring time~

Life has been a pretty mess lately.. *sigh* I could say that during this half of year I didn't really accomplish anything. It was pretty dumb..

Some people are getting on my nerves. True friends are hard to find. They are so far away they could only offer you written words and you read them but it's even more fulfilling than having to listen to those voices you don't really wanna hear.. >_>

I'm totally broke. I spent a lot this semester I feel like killing myself.. T^T

I've lost my fun-side. Now I could only write sad, murky dark poems.. isk..

Now I have 4 older brothers and 2 little sis! XD

Okay enough crap!

Unforgivable...

What you did was unforgivable. .

Gothic Lolita An Obession

Oh no my obsession with Gothic Lolita is haunting me again! I seriously wanna dress up~ No!!!

Crying in My Sleep

Today i greeted the sky

with such heavy eyes

though hard i tried

i know that i couldn't lie

that i was crying

last night before i fell asleep

and then it was raining

and loneliness quietly slip

outside and wet the soil

and i dreamt a beautiful dream

that embraced me into a coil

though before i wanted to scream

now i feel like heaven look down on me

telling me everything will be fine

and tomorrow you'll surely find

a reason to smile again

though it will start faint.

but it would as clear as the rain.

Addicted!!

Online games really will make me play non-stop! bad for health!!! but it's too fun to stop!!!

Stupid new Unisel rules!!!!

No jeans???? like what kinda place is this? government office meh??? even uitm allows the students to wear jeans to class. Fuck Unisel!!!

Morning Classes!!!

I'm no morning person. I easily get irritated in early morning. the earliest i can wake up is 8am. and classes like psychology won't help lifting up my mood. i felt like i wanna puke in today's morning class!

oh well..
tomorrow got quiz!
be prepared!

no money, lotsa fats!

instant noodle for dinner. i bet goo jun pyo woundn't mind that but i do.. haih..

I've found the novel and the songs!!!

The Neverending Story which i was looking for!
i found the novel in pdf form which is more than enough. and the song too. the aah~ aaah~ aaah~ Hahaha!

hey anna!this is the star u gave me remember? i still treasure it~ ^_^

I miss my old schools..

i hated school but here i am missing em.. SK Desa Tun Hussien Onn.. Cikgu Azman who made me wrote 10 essays a week. SK Seri Kelebang where i only know how to get to my own class and the canteen.. haha~ Then SMK Tasek Damai where we suffered under the rules of Mr Abu Hanipah, better known as Zidane and lastly SMK JAlan Tasek where i living hell but with angelic friends whom i yearn to be with now! So long my school days..

And so she walks..

And so she walks in her shoes
Towards somewhere the sun says hello
And she will leave without looking back
But with the past that follows
Either uninvited or expected
Slowing her journey down
Though she can’t hear the sound
It screeches so loud
The remorse and the pain
The losses that outgrow the gains

And every step that she takes
Feeling like she is going to break
She held her hands to see
Through the blinding sun
Remain blazingly mute
She would like to run
To carry her foot
Towards somewhere the sun says hello
And she doesn’t have look back.

Where is the old me?

The me here is not really me. i feel like being someone else... but that someone is still me.. cliche yeah.. but that's how i'm feeling. i love the me around my friends back in high school where i got high after eating jelly gummy and started to make crazy jokes in class.. the me who always skipped school and eat during class is going on. i hated school but i was being myself. i cud be ignorant... i'm one of the high profile student in school w/o me knowing even till i graduated.. hahaha...

here i'm being rather someone who don't really trust people and keep wishing things won't be the way they are. that's painful as things won't really go the way we want it most of the time...

Neverending Story

i watched this movie like years ago.. i don't really remember what story it was. basically i just remember the song that goes like.. Neverending story~ aaah~ aaah~ aah~.. sorta like that.. and also flying dogs i think. the story had been in my mind for quite awhile but i didn't rmmbr the title.. i just rmmbered it recently.. i really liked the story that somehow made me wanna cry every time i remembered about it... though i'm not sure why.. haha.. anyway! Neverending Story is about.. (this is what i read in wikipedia.. )

The Neverending Story (German: Die unendliche Geschichte) is a German fantasy novel by Michael Ende, first published in 1979. The standard English translation, by Ralph Manheim, was first published in 1983. The novel was later adapted into several films.

The majority of the story takes place in the parallel world of Fantastica (Phantásien in the original German version; referred to as Fantasia in the films), a world being destroyed by the Nothing, which represents and constitutes people's lack of imagination in the real world. The first protagonist is a young warrior, who is asked by the sick Empress to set off and find the cure for their world. The other protagonist is a boy from the real world, a reader of the novel with the same title, for whom the story gradually becomes more and more realistic.

i wanna read it!!!! n watch the movies too!!! can't anyone tell me where to get it?!!!